There is something about your first love. You never forget, and you always compare every guy you meet to that one amazing person, who lets be honest, at 18 was probably not that amazing. I've always had a sentiment for first loves. It all seems so romantic, no holding back, no hesitation, just head first, and full on. Thinking, no knowing for certain, that this is the person who you will be spending the rest of your life with. Everything is a first, first touch, first calls, first birthday present, valentines day, Christmas. First time getting caught behind the church together, (that might have just been me) But really no matter what your experience we can all agree it was fun. Not without its awkward moments, but so thrillingly fun!
For most people first kisses go hand in hand with first loves, my experience in this area was different because of a fun little book that was extremely popular among Christians in those days called, 'I kissed dating goodbye'. I now hate and loath this book, but at the time it was gospel to me and so the kisses I wanted never happened. My first kiss came a few years later. I made the mistake of not telling the boy who was doing the kissing that this was my first time, because at 22 I thought that was a little bit embarrassing. (Ok fine I was 24) I had some sort of delusion that maybe he wouldn't notice that I had no idea what I was doing. As it was he never did guess that it was my first time, he simply looked at me funny and said, "Is it my breath, should I go find some gum?" I'm no expert in this area, as I've just proved, but I don't think this comment meant it was an amazing kiss. The fabulous thing about the whole thing is that I remember every detail of my first love, but for the life of me I cannot remember the name of the boy who was my first kiss. I do remember he was Canadian, and he had blue eyes.... I think he had blue eyes. And it didn't end all bad, he did eventually find that gum......
First loves and first kisses, I'm feeling very sentimental today.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Friday, January 25, 2013
An Ode to Kim
I recently found out my very good friend and colleague has put in her two weeks notice at my place of work. Now I am not technically supposed to know this yet, so I am sharing it only with you my readers, and my facebook friends. But no one else. I always kind of wondered why she was there in the first place since she is so amazing and way over qualified for the position she was in, so I am deep down very happy for her and wish her the best. On the outside I will be angry and hostile, it is never a good idea to show people that we care, (some quick advise from me) So in honor of her leaving I am dedicating this post to her, mostly because I will miss her, but partly because I really wanted to use the word 'ode' in a blog post and this is a good opportunity. So here is to you, Kim Petty, an ode to you!
Now one of the issues with writing an ode to Kim is that I have only known her a couple of months and I do not have any good stories of her, but that's ok because I am very good at storytelling and I can just make one up, so here is the story of the time Kim and I went shopping.
We had planned to go shopping together for days because we both made so much money we really needed to spend it. After much discussion we decided to have no budget for the day, and to not limit ourselves to shopping alone, but clean entertainment of any kind. First we decided to drop by Kim's uncle's place, Tom Petty, and have him sing a few jams for us. This was fun since I have always been a pretty big fan of Tom Petty and singing 'Free Falling' live with just me and Tom Petty happened to be on my bucket list. After our quick stop at his house we went to the deep south to see another one of Kim's uncles, Richard Petty, race in a NASCAR race. Now I am not a huge NASCAR fan, but relatives are relatives, and famous relatives are famous relatives, so we went. (Plus Kim is a REALLY big NASCAR fan, something I didn't know about her before this day). After this it was starting to be afternoon and we needed to get some serious shopping done, we decided New York was the best place to do this and found ourselves there in short order. Several thousand dollars and lots of fun shopping bags later we decided a couple drinks and some dancing was a good way to end the evening. We knew that Vegas was of course the best place for this so we went to a very hot night club, of which I can't remember the name. They let us in right away, mumbling something about incredibly hot girls and how lucky their club was that night. It was here that we danced the night away, I even had a chance to pull out my famous Sexy dance that so very few people have been privileged to see, it pushed the lines of 'clean fun' but stayed with in its boundaries. After our dancing we decided to call it a day and jetted home so we could be sure to get to work on time the next day.
Im sure after this story you can see why I'm going to miss her so much, so many memories......
So in conclusion, Kim I hope you finish up Harry Potter, I hope your new job is awesome, and I really hope you take me to meet your uncles again.
Now one of the issues with writing an ode to Kim is that I have only known her a couple of months and I do not have any good stories of her, but that's ok because I am very good at storytelling and I can just make one up, so here is the story of the time Kim and I went shopping.
We had planned to go shopping together for days because we both made so much money we really needed to spend it. After much discussion we decided to have no budget for the day, and to not limit ourselves to shopping alone, but clean entertainment of any kind. First we decided to drop by Kim's uncle's place, Tom Petty, and have him sing a few jams for us. This was fun since I have always been a pretty big fan of Tom Petty and singing 'Free Falling' live with just me and Tom Petty happened to be on my bucket list. After our quick stop at his house we went to the deep south to see another one of Kim's uncles, Richard Petty, race in a NASCAR race. Now I am not a huge NASCAR fan, but relatives are relatives, and famous relatives are famous relatives, so we went. (Plus Kim is a REALLY big NASCAR fan, something I didn't know about her before this day). After this it was starting to be afternoon and we needed to get some serious shopping done, we decided New York was the best place to do this and found ourselves there in short order. Several thousand dollars and lots of fun shopping bags later we decided a couple drinks and some dancing was a good way to end the evening. We knew that Vegas was of course the best place for this so we went to a very hot night club, of which I can't remember the name. They let us in right away, mumbling something about incredibly hot girls and how lucky their club was that night. It was here that we danced the night away, I even had a chance to pull out my famous Sexy dance that so very few people have been privileged to see, it pushed the lines of 'clean fun' but stayed with in its boundaries. After our dancing we decided to call it a day and jetted home so we could be sure to get to work on time the next day.
Im sure after this story you can see why I'm going to miss her so much, so many memories......
So in conclusion, Kim I hope you finish up Harry Potter, I hope your new job is awesome, and I really hope you take me to meet your uncles again.
Friday, January 11, 2013
I am Bridget Jones
Bridget Jones was in her 32nd year when she started her famous diary that later turned into a movie. This year, more than ever, I feel like we are the same person. Apart from the fact that I don't smoke and I still find it a little bit disgusting that she does. Also I don't say the F word. I can't even write the F word. I like to swear as much as the rest of them, but for some reason I have never been able to say the F word. Anyways for those of you unfamiliar with the movie Bridget Jones Diary, she was a single girl who was 32, her biggest fear was dying alone and being eaten by wild dogs. It is the story of her very awkwardly trying to find love and in the end finding the perfect mark Darcy. Its a great movie, one of my favorites actually, although I would venture to guess there is no guy who has ever liked this movie.
Anyways how is it that I find myself thinking I am Bridget Jones? Well there is the fact that we are both in our 32nd year, although I am loath to admit this. I too have a fear of dying alone, I don't think that wild dogs will eat me though. (Although I do sometimes wonder about Joey) I more think what if I was kidnapped and nobody noticed for a week? This is very possible, apart from the fact that a kidnapping is very unlikely. Mostly though I am Bridget Jones because of my awkwardness. I have met very few people who are as awkward as I am around boys. I go to peoples houses every day and I doubt you'll meet a more confident person than I am when I make those calls. I am a sales person, there has to be a certain amount of confidence to pull off a job like that. But when it comes to boys, especially boys that I find attractive, I am the most awkward person you have ever met.
I used to work at Macy's and there used to be this guy that I thought was really cute that worked at a kiosk right outside our doors. One day I was walking out our doors and I saw him watching me walk towards him. In my mind I was yelling at myself, "Play it cool Grace. Play it cool! Just walk normal, don't do anything stupid, just one foot in front of the other, smile on your face, come on you have like thirty feet and then this will be over." Meanwhile as I was walking I felt my shoe, which was a slip on, start to slip off. I started to completely panic. I couldn't stop, and I couldn't keep going. I started sweating and my mouth went dry. Suddenly I got this brilliant idea that what if I used gravity. What if I gave my foot a slight kick forcing my shoe up a little bit so that it would land firmly back on my foot and I could continue to walk uninterrupted. This plan seemed brilliant, so I did just that. The problem was my "slight kick" came out a little jerky and I kicked my shoe completely off my foot and into the cute guy standing 30 feet away.
Another time I ran into a guy that I had had a crush on unexpectedly. He was like, "Oh hey Grace!" and I opened my mouth...... and nothing came out. No words at all. He looked at me and I just kept moving my mouth, trying to say something. Meanwhile in my brain I was like, "Say something, anything will do, just say something!" Eventually he gave me and odd look and walked away. That crush never did work out for me........?
So there is the awkwardness, we have that in common, Bridget Jones and I. We have the age, and the weight, and the determinedness to change our lives. (I made up that word, determinedness) There is the occasional overindulgence of alcohol, and the lack of cooking skills. My point is friends, that I am Bridget Jones! And because at the end of her 32nd year she met Mark Darcy I think this means I will also meet Mark Darcy this year! Or.... what I mean to say is I will meet somebody like Mark Darcy. Maybe it will be Ryan Reynolds...... I do love Ryan Reynolds.
Anyways how is it that I find myself thinking I am Bridget Jones? Well there is the fact that we are both in our 32nd year, although I am loath to admit this. I too have a fear of dying alone, I don't think that wild dogs will eat me though. (Although I do sometimes wonder about Joey) I more think what if I was kidnapped and nobody noticed for a week? This is very possible, apart from the fact that a kidnapping is very unlikely. Mostly though I am Bridget Jones because of my awkwardness. I have met very few people who are as awkward as I am around boys. I go to peoples houses every day and I doubt you'll meet a more confident person than I am when I make those calls. I am a sales person, there has to be a certain amount of confidence to pull off a job like that. But when it comes to boys, especially boys that I find attractive, I am the most awkward person you have ever met.
I used to work at Macy's and there used to be this guy that I thought was really cute that worked at a kiosk right outside our doors. One day I was walking out our doors and I saw him watching me walk towards him. In my mind I was yelling at myself, "Play it cool Grace. Play it cool! Just walk normal, don't do anything stupid, just one foot in front of the other, smile on your face, come on you have like thirty feet and then this will be over." Meanwhile as I was walking I felt my shoe, which was a slip on, start to slip off. I started to completely panic. I couldn't stop, and I couldn't keep going. I started sweating and my mouth went dry. Suddenly I got this brilliant idea that what if I used gravity. What if I gave my foot a slight kick forcing my shoe up a little bit so that it would land firmly back on my foot and I could continue to walk uninterrupted. This plan seemed brilliant, so I did just that. The problem was my "slight kick" came out a little jerky and I kicked my shoe completely off my foot and into the cute guy standing 30 feet away.
Another time I ran into a guy that I had had a crush on unexpectedly. He was like, "Oh hey Grace!" and I opened my mouth...... and nothing came out. No words at all. He looked at me and I just kept moving my mouth, trying to say something. Meanwhile in my brain I was like, "Say something, anything will do, just say something!" Eventually he gave me and odd look and walked away. That crush never did work out for me........?
So there is the awkwardness, we have that in common, Bridget Jones and I. We have the age, and the weight, and the determinedness to change our lives. (I made up that word, determinedness) There is the occasional overindulgence of alcohol, and the lack of cooking skills. My point is friends, that I am Bridget Jones! And because at the end of her 32nd year she met Mark Darcy I think this means I will also meet Mark Darcy this year! Or.... what I mean to say is I will meet somebody like Mark Darcy. Maybe it will be Ryan Reynolds...... I do love Ryan Reynolds.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
New Years Things To Do
I believe every single person reaches an age where they are just so tired of "the game". By 'the game' I mean the boy/girl, birds/bees, dating/dumping, like/love/hate/ and creeper game. (The creeper one might just be me...?) This game was scary when we were 12, fun when we were teenagers, and maybe too much fun in our early twenties. But when a person reaches their thirties, I believe, they are ready to be done. Its not quite as much fun trying to figure out what some guy meant by something he said or did, or didn't say or didn't do. Your married friends start to think you are immature when you are giggling about a boy who made eye contact with you when your 32. It just becomes maddening. Which is why my New Years Resolution is to date more!
You may be wondering how my brain got there, and I expected you to be wondering that, so let me tell you. Have you ever noticed that our new years resolutions are things we hate to do? Its never I will eat more ice cream, or get more massages. I will skip work more often and eat in less. No they are things like, I will clean my toilets every week and run 4 miles per day. I will spend less money on shoes and lose 15 pounds. Well this is how I got there. I also need to date more. My new years resolution list might as well be called, 'list of things to do that I hate'.
So bring it on friends, I am ready to be set up with boys, I will not be picky except they can not be married and must be within 15 years of my age. But you'd better hurry with your set ups, my new years resolutions have a way of fizzling out......
You may be wondering how my brain got there, and I expected you to be wondering that, so let me tell you. Have you ever noticed that our new years resolutions are things we hate to do? Its never I will eat more ice cream, or get more massages. I will skip work more often and eat in less. No they are things like, I will clean my toilets every week and run 4 miles per day. I will spend less money on shoes and lose 15 pounds. Well this is how I got there. I also need to date more. My new years resolution list might as well be called, 'list of things to do that I hate'.
So bring it on friends, I am ready to be set up with boys, I will not be picky except they can not be married and must be within 15 years of my age. But you'd better hurry with your set ups, my new years resolutions have a way of fizzling out......
Friday, December 28, 2012
The Art of Being Single
I love being single. Truly I do. I know it sounds like what every single person is supposed to say
but really they hate being single and wish for that one amazing person to settle down with, but I really do love being single. I can watch whatever movie I want without fear of ridicule or judgment, I get the whole bed to myself, and I like it! I can go wherever I want whenever I want. I can have 100 pairs of shoes. I don't have to check with anybody but me when I spend money. I never have somebody telling me no, I don't ever have to cook. I don't have pee on my toilet seat. The list goes on.
But there are a few things I really hate about being single, I have found they are universal, and unfair, and mostly the fault of the married people we hang out with. So this post is dedicated to my married friends, with love and hopes that you will change.
First I hate it when people assume that because you hit 30 and are still unmarried this must mean you are a lesbian. No. Just.... No. Do not ask us this. If the single in question was a lesbian let her tell you in her own time, you don't need to ask. And for those of us who are not lesbians its insulting. Don't do it.
Second why is it that if you go to family's for the holidays, or a trip with multiple people that the single people get to sleep on the floor and the marrieds sleep on the beds?? What is that?!? "So we set up Tom and Mary in our room, and Susan and Bill you go ahead and take the guest room, Bobby and Mary you guys take the bed we rented from Macy's for the occasion, and Grace we set you up in a corner of the kitchen floor, that should work right? you don't need a bed for any reason that I can think of right?" NO WRONG! I need a bed, I need some privacy as well. This is not cool.
Third and most important, is I really hate people thinking you are a lessor human because you are not married. Comments such as, "well you would understand if you were married" Or "Just wait till your married like me". You know if and when I do get married there is a good chance my marriage will be completely different than yours. Part two I actually may have an understanding of what your talking about. Im not claiming to be all knowing but I've lived a little bit. And just because you got married young and naive does not mean I am young (i'm not) or naive. Other bad things to say include, "Wow we need to find you a man so we can really hang out", "If only you had someone to share this with", or the worst is giving suggestions, "Well when I was single" No. Stop. If you were married before you were 25 you do not know what it is like to be single at my age. You did it the normal way. You do not get an opinion about my dating life.
As you can tell the holidays are upon us and I have had the "Why are you still single" talk one to many
times this last week. :-)
but really they hate being single and wish for that one amazing person to settle down with, but I really do love being single. I can watch whatever movie I want without fear of ridicule or judgment, I get the whole bed to myself, and I like it! I can go wherever I want whenever I want. I can have 100 pairs of shoes. I don't have to check with anybody but me when I spend money. I never have somebody telling me no, I don't ever have to cook. I don't have pee on my toilet seat. The list goes on.
But there are a few things I really hate about being single, I have found they are universal, and unfair, and mostly the fault of the married people we hang out with. So this post is dedicated to my married friends, with love and hopes that you will change.
First I hate it when people assume that because you hit 30 and are still unmarried this must mean you are a lesbian. No. Just.... No. Do not ask us this. If the single in question was a lesbian let her tell you in her own time, you don't need to ask. And for those of us who are not lesbians its insulting. Don't do it.
Second why is it that if you go to family's for the holidays, or a trip with multiple people that the single people get to sleep on the floor and the marrieds sleep on the beds?? What is that?!? "So we set up Tom and Mary in our room, and Susan and Bill you go ahead and take the guest room, Bobby and Mary you guys take the bed we rented from Macy's for the occasion, and Grace we set you up in a corner of the kitchen floor, that should work right? you don't need a bed for any reason that I can think of right?" NO WRONG! I need a bed, I need some privacy as well. This is not cool.
Third and most important, is I really hate people thinking you are a lessor human because you are not married. Comments such as, "well you would understand if you were married" Or "Just wait till your married like me". You know if and when I do get married there is a good chance my marriage will be completely different than yours. Part two I actually may have an understanding of what your talking about. Im not claiming to be all knowing but I've lived a little bit. And just because you got married young and naive does not mean I am young (i'm not) or naive. Other bad things to say include, "Wow we need to find you a man so we can really hang out", "If only you had someone to share this with", or the worst is giving suggestions, "Well when I was single" No. Stop. If you were married before you were 25 you do not know what it is like to be single at my age. You did it the normal way. You do not get an opinion about my dating life.
As you can tell the holidays are upon us and I have had the "Why are you still single" talk one to many
times this last week. :-)
Monday, July 26, 2010
Not Sweet at All.
I have a lot of people tell me I am sweet. It’s not that I mind being thought of as sweet, its just I’m really really not. Not even close. I feel like you, my readers, should know the truth about this. So I have written down several scenarios to show you what takes place in my mind compared to what takes place in real life;
Scenario #1
I say, “You look really cute today.”
You say. “Thanks I got this top at Macy’s. It was on clearance for $12, regularly $150!!! And these shoes are so old, seriously I’ve had them for like 12 years, they just never wear out ya know?? And I’ve lost some weight, like 1.7 pounds actually.”
What I’m thinking. “Dude are you really STILL talking?? I only said you looked cute in the first place because we have absolutely NOTHING in common and something needed to be said to break the awkward silence. Throw those shoes away! Seriously do not keep them any longer!!”
Scenario #2
You say, “Good Morning”
I stare at you blankly
What I am thinking. “I cannot believe this person is talking to me. I mean I just woke up.” I then try to remember how much I like the person who is talking to me. Should I be responding?? Is this relationship important for my future???
Scenario #3
You talk to me while I am reading; you notice I am slow to respond. YEAH, BECAUSE I AM READING!!!!
What I am thinking, “Have I said enough words to pass as polite??? Do I need to continue to talk about how my day went, or how your day went???
Scenario #4
You say, “I can’t believe its Monday again.”
I say, “Yeah, I guess we need more caffeine”
What I’m thinking, “It comes around once a week, you’d better get used to it and stop complaining that it’s Monday every Monday!!! Is it just hard for you to believe that there actually IS a Monday??? Sometimes you confuse me.”
Scenario #5
My customer says, “I just can’t decide, what do you think?”
I say, “Yeah that looks really good together that red will really Pop!”
I’m thinking, “Listen lady, it looks horrible. I have told you 100 times you do not want red floors, red cabinets, and red countertops. Your friends will make fun of you. But you’ve been in here 4 hours contemplating, wanting me to tell you that it looks awesome. So here is my stamp of approval, Have a wonderful life in your Santa Clause house!”
Scenario #1
I say, “You look really cute today.”
You say. “Thanks I got this top at Macy’s. It was on clearance for $12, regularly $150!!! And these shoes are so old, seriously I’ve had them for like 12 years, they just never wear out ya know?? And I’ve lost some weight, like 1.7 pounds actually.”
What I’m thinking. “Dude are you really STILL talking?? I only said you looked cute in the first place because we have absolutely NOTHING in common and something needed to be said to break the awkward silence. Throw those shoes away! Seriously do not keep them any longer!!”
Scenario #2
You say, “Good Morning”
I stare at you blankly
What I am thinking. “I cannot believe this person is talking to me. I mean I just woke up.” I then try to remember how much I like the person who is talking to me. Should I be responding?? Is this relationship important for my future???
Scenario #3
You talk to me while I am reading; you notice I am slow to respond. YEAH, BECAUSE I AM READING!!!!
What I am thinking, “Have I said enough words to pass as polite??? Do I need to continue to talk about how my day went, or how your day went???
Scenario #4
You say, “I can’t believe its Monday again.”
I say, “Yeah, I guess we need more caffeine”
What I’m thinking, “It comes around once a week, you’d better get used to it and stop complaining that it’s Monday every Monday!!! Is it just hard for you to believe that there actually IS a Monday??? Sometimes you confuse me.”
Scenario #5
My customer says, “I just can’t decide, what do you think?”
I say, “Yeah that looks really good together that red will really Pop!”
I’m thinking, “Listen lady, it looks horrible. I have told you 100 times you do not want red floors, red cabinets, and red countertops. Your friends will make fun of you. But you’ve been in here 4 hours contemplating, wanting me to tell you that it looks awesome. So here is my stamp of approval, Have a wonderful life in your Santa Clause house!”
Friday, July 23, 2010
Song Lyrics
I really LOVE music. Really everything about it. But my very favorite part of all music is the lyrics. Some of them just speak to you, move you, and make you feel alive. While thinking about this during my insomniac hours last night I have come up with a few of my very favorite “song quotes” and have decided to share them with you along with why I love them so much;
“Baby you the whole package plus you pay your taxesAnd you keep it real while them other stay plastic” –B.O.B.
See now until I heard this song on the radio I honestly didn’t know that guys were looking for a girl who follows the rules of modern civilization, such as paying their taxes. I didn’t advertise myself as a girl who does in fact pay her taxes. This ignorance on my part could very well be why I am still single.
"Eenie meenie miney mo. Catch a bad chick by her toe. If she holla, let her go" - Justin Bieber
Several things. First I think all of us single girls can agree that the way we want to be “caught” is definitely by the toe. And Justin Bieber is the FIRST person who has ever recognized this in a song. And not just any song but a song that brings nursery rhymes into the lyrics. Is this talent? I think so.
“I don’t want to see a ghost; it’s the sign that I fear the most. I’d rather have a piece of toast.” -Des’ree
The truth is we would all rather have toast than see a ghost. I mean am I the only one whose soul these lyrics speak to?? Mmmmm, toast.
“And I met a girl, she asked me my name, I told her what it was.” -3 Razorlight
Sometimes a song leaves you hanging, your wondering what happened next and it NEVER tells you. That is so frustrating, which is why I love these lyrics so much, it tells you exactly what happened. Now you know. You don’t have to wonder.
“Here’s a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama, fuzzy llama, funny llama, llama llama duck.”
Truly I have no words.
“Baby you the whole package plus you pay your taxesAnd you keep it real while them other stay plastic” –B.O.B.
See now until I heard this song on the radio I honestly didn’t know that guys were looking for a girl who follows the rules of modern civilization, such as paying their taxes. I didn’t advertise myself as a girl who does in fact pay her taxes. This ignorance on my part could very well be why I am still single.
"Eenie meenie miney mo. Catch a bad chick by her toe. If she holla, let her go" - Justin Bieber
Several things. First I think all of us single girls can agree that the way we want to be “caught” is definitely by the toe. And Justin Bieber is the FIRST person who has ever recognized this in a song. And not just any song but a song that brings nursery rhymes into the lyrics. Is this talent? I think so.
“I don’t want to see a ghost; it’s the sign that I fear the most. I’d rather have a piece of toast.” -Des’ree
The truth is we would all rather have toast than see a ghost. I mean am I the only one whose soul these lyrics speak to?? Mmmmm, toast.
“And I met a girl, she asked me my name, I told her what it was.” -3 Razorlight
Sometimes a song leaves you hanging, your wondering what happened next and it NEVER tells you. That is so frustrating, which is why I love these lyrics so much, it tells you exactly what happened. Now you know. You don’t have to wonder.
“Here’s a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama, fuzzy llama, funny llama, llama llama duck.”
Truly I have no words.
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